


Genius Ways To Die

by galaxycm



Category: Death Note
Genre: M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 05:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5697550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxycm/pseuds/galaxycm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes a genius to keep a genius alive .</p>
            </blockquote>





	Genius Ways To Die

**Disclaimer** : I do not own Death Note or any of the characters used in this story .

 

No one really knows how it all started . It’s a thing between the both of them . The death game between the two top students at Wammy – the top candidates for the title L .

 

At the age of four , Near carried out his first plan – to kill himself by choking on a piece of puzzle . Neat huh ? He assumed that everyone will think of it as an accident . Well even though he’s a genius , he was only 4 at that time . Who would have blamed a 4-year-old child for his own death ?

So one afternoon , when he was finally left alone in the common room , he decided to carry out his plan . It went flawlessly according to plan . He could feel death approaching as he choked on his puzzle piece , feeling his breath taken away from him and his vision became blurry . That was until a certain flash of blond dashed by his side and slapped hard on his back .

Later on , he was (un)fortunately rescued by the nurses at the Wammy’s House . _Stupid Mello_ . At least Roger was too terrified by the accident to realize his hateful glance towards Mello . _He ruined my plan_ .

That night , Mello sneaked into Near’s room and asked him

_Why did you do that ? Isn’t it too soon to commit suicide ?

_I don’t know Mello , isn’t it too soon for you to recognize other’s attempt to suicide ?

And thus , the game began .

 

_What the HELL are you trying to do again Near ?

_Isn’t it obvious ?

_ I mean , why a day like this ? Hell , it’s a pain in the ass trying to walk on a freaking roof on a stormy day like this . What are you trying to do ? Fall to your death ?

_Exactly – He whispered

_Ha , then you won’t get it today . I will drag you if I have to , or you can willingly follow me .

Near sighed . _Stupid Mello_ . He specifically chose this day in hope of Mello being too unwilling to soak himself in the storm to save Near’s life , yet again . He was wrong . Deadly wrong . Or lively wrong .

 

Mello never really guessed why Near want to die so _badly_ . Hell yeah , everyone at Wammy has a tragic past : abandoned , abused , abducted , and so on . But Near didn’t seem like the type who would commit suicide over his tragic past like that . No, Mello _knew_ Near wasn’t  like that . Near’s tougher than that , and quite frankly , more than almost everyone Mello knows . Really , he had stayed up numerous nights studying psychology and especially suicidal tendency . Depression , nope , didn’t seem so . Traumatized experience , yes , but not since Wammy ,so there shouldn’t be any reason . Emotional pain, does that guy possess emotion ? Sense of burden, altered social world, escaping negative feelings, hopelessness ? Unlikely . Not the Near he _knows_

He could ask Near , and there is actually a 48% chance that Near would frankly throw the truth at his face . But that’s not the way things work . Not between the two of them .

 

Near was bored . That’s all there is to this . He didn’t see any point in living  , so he committed suicide . Pure logic . But Mello . Mello didn’t seem to get it , at all . Near didn’t even understand why he wouldn’t just let Near die already .

Actually , they both knew . If Near were to die , then their little competition would remain unresolved . No one would actually win .

 

_Matt , hand me that paperclip , or I’ll single-handedly knock the hell out of this door !

_Oh my god Near what the hell ??

Before him laid Near , perfectly peaceful in his bed , with pills all over the floor . It didn’t take a genius to understand what had happened .

_Matt , get Roger here for me !

Near sure had taken a lot of sleeping pills that day .

So when he woke up in a hospital , all he could do is curse Mello . _Damn you_.

After that incident , it took Near a whole year to get out of the staff’s supervised eyes .Not to mention therapies . _Great_.

And even though everything has gone back to pretty normal the next year , his reputation around the house had changed from L’s number one successors to a-poor-depressed-stressful-little-fragile-piece-of-an-L’s-successor . And the rumor about “Near has been attempting suicide since the age of 4” too . Which is true though .

 _Thanks to dear Mello_ , he bitterly thought , _nothing is going according to plan_.

Ah , there’s nothing Near hates more than losing . ( Except for losing his life , which ironically is a kind of victory for him ).

 

Mello didn’t really consider Near to be completely serious about this whole suicide things . Yes , it’s true that he had attempted it , carefully to be honest . But a part of Mello always assumes that Near somewhat expected him to come , to _save_ Near . _Tell me this is another sick game of yours_ _, Near , and I’ll graciously grant you the death you wanted_ .

 

Near didn’t want to ask why Mello would always be there , so timely , to save him . Mello didn’t always see through his plans , but he always managed to be there in time .

Whether to save or to torture him , Near wasn’t sure .

He would like to think of it as mere luck , because he didn’t want to face other theories . 

But there’s no such things as coincidences . They’re called percentages and chances in his world .

 

_Near , looking for something ?

_ Yes, and I believe you have it.

_Little Near is correct once again . But I won’t give you your rope . You’re not freaking committing suicide , again .

_I would have if it weren’t for you Mello . – He silently huffed

 

Mello didn’t know why he was always there to save Near . Both accidentally and purposefully . Why he had even bother , that little brat who doesn’t know how to appreciate a damn thing , who kill himself over and over and over and _over_ again . Mello is sick of it . But still , there he is , watching over Near like a hawk , thinking up scenarios of how the smaller boy could kill himself .

Look , there is a window . Near can easily jump from there . But no  , the height is not enough to be considered fatal , only enough to caused injuries . Near maybe suicidal , but he’s in no way has tendency towards self-harm . He made that really clear through his previous effort to commit suicide .

See, I’ve become obsessed , Mello thought . Now he’s not looking at objects the way normal people do , but rather in a Why-this-could-be-a-tool-for-Near-to-commit-suicide way. “Not healthy dude” – Matt commented  one day . Mello hates to admit Matt was damn right .

 

_Really ? Oh wow Near , it’s wonderful to see you sign up for something like this ! Yes , of course you have my permission ! – Roger said in an almost sing-song tune . How rare is it that the top student in the House volunteer in an activity ? He is not going to question it , maybe Near has finally come out of his shell . After that incident , he has been constantly worried about the boy’s mental condition . Nothing could be better than Near participating in an annual activity . Nothing .

_If only he knew ._

Mello was all but convinced by this odd announcement of Roger . What the actual hell , Near is taking part in the Halloween party ? No way that is happening . That boy is everything but shy . Why do people assume that ? He didn’t participate cause he sees no point in it , whatsoever . Why the hell would he see the point now , of all time ?

Unless he is planning something stupid , Mello thought darkly . _Really_ stupid .

So when Halloween night arrived , Mello had equipped himself with  a backpack full of what for once is not chocolate , but weapons . Actual weapons . A knife , a rope ,and , for god’s sake, a bloody hammer . “What the hell are those for ? “- He just shrugged .

He knew it ! Mello knew the instance Near stated he would perform a magic trick . Near said he would handcuffed himself and be chained to the bottom of the tank, then attempt to escape before he drown .

 _Attempt my ass_ , Mello thinks to himself . Of course Near would _attempt_ , then _accidentally_ fail .

Mello was damn right. Near prepared no trick or whatsoever to attempt to escape , he would just simply act like he tried .  No one would see through that , or even if they did , it would be too late . His death was predefined the moment he sank himself .

Mello was damn right . As he watched Near trying to escape , or act like he’s trying to be precise , he knew he had to act . So he rushed through the crowd and threw the hammer to the tank , didn’t bother to care if Roger or Watari , or even L would punish him for ruining Near’s performance and even injure the boy . He’s not losing the game .

_You wanna play ? Well , let’s give our best , shall we ?_

Near smirked victorious as he felt the life draining out of his life . Mello should realize his attempt suicide by now , but it’s not like Mello can do anything .

Mello smirked as he saw a glint of shock in the other boy’s eyes. Didn’t expect the bloody hammer huh ?

Near inwardly cringed . Goddamn it . A bloody hammer . Who brings a bloody hammer along ? What the hell is the person named Mello ?

Mello leant toward Near as the boy lying on the floor , then whisper into his ears .

If Near were any less calm than he is , he wouldn’t hesitate to punch Mello right there  ,as he leant toward Near and smirked

_“I win”_

ooo

Though both of them would never admit , they enjoy the game more than they should .

Mello enjoyed the feeling of victory every time he saw that glint of hatred flashes through that boy’s eyes . Oh , he loves the fact that he ruined little Near’s perfect plans time and time and time again .

Near didn’t enjoy the feeling of losing , at all . But , at those moment when he could feel death , at those moment when Mello reached just in time to rescue his life , that he felt almost alive , for once , not bored out of his mind . Mello’s little victories over him makes Near want to keep playing the game .

Right ,  they are not bored anymore , with Mello never really able to predict Near’s plans .

Right , it’s interesting now , cause no matter how careful Near plans , Mello would still find a crack , or make a crack in his plans .

None of them could expect each other’s move. The game is ever changing , yet nothing could change the dynamics between them .

None of them could expect each other .

And none can expect what the future brings .

_ L is dead .

 

Near knew their game is drawing close to an end as Mello stomped out of that room . Mello maybe      temporary satisfied with his little victories in their game , but Near knew better than to hope that Mello would just stay satisfied , with Near still standing on the top spot . Mello wasn’t going to stop , until the very end . He was not going to settle down with little victories , not ever . He was aiming for Kira’s head , for the ultimate victory . For their final showdown .

Suddenly , Near didn’t feel like dying anymore .

 

 Mello knew he had to leave . His world , their world has gone crumble down his feet as L died . At the back of his mind , a part of his mind still insists their competition would last more than this , their time would be longer than this . He can no longer hide in the House , playing Life and Death with Near , and pretend like it would stay like that forever . Everything had to come to an end . It’s about time to end their game . A part of Mello thinks that he should stay , cooperate with Near , _keeping Near alive_ . But Mello knows , he could never be satisfied with that . He could never settle down , tied to those small little victories . He wanted to reach the top , he wanted to whip Near out of the throne he had always been sitting comfortably in . He wanted the ultimate victory , and no matter how interesting , inviting their game is , he would never last long . Sooner or later , he would leave , he would still choose their rivalry . He would always choose their rivalry .

So he left his photo behind , as a reminder , that he would always be there . He would always be in the game . And beside the photo is a note , though he deems quite unnecessary , but still decided to put it there .

“Near , don’t die .

Our goals is the same , I’ll be waiting for you at the finish line .

Mello”

Of course you wouldn’t die . It won’t be our game that way .

_You’re certainly not bored now , aren’t you ?_

 

Thus begins their second game .

_Kira , you’ll never know what hits you ._

 

Years flown by , cases and cases and cases Near solved , crimes and crimes and crimes Mello commited , plot and plot they planed , announcements and announcements Kira made . As Near found out about the existence of the Death Note and arranged a meeting with the President , the game reached its climax . When Mello heard news about the Death Note , he immediately plotted out to steal it . With it , he can finally end this game . He can finally win .

 

It has certainly been an interesting turn of events , Near thought . Of course , he had no doubt that once Mello’d plotted , even him would have trouble stopping the older boy , let alone a person who knows nothing about Mello . What surprises him is that Kira had somehow manage to get into this whole ordeal , apparent had made a deal with the police in order to catch Mello . Thanks to Mello , his investigation has taken on a whole new direction .

Near pondered over how Mello would react if he said that to him .

Near didn’t have to wonder for long , for Mello had already taken the next step and decided to meet up with Near . Since the beginning , Near’s known that Lidner would work with Mello . She is just that kind of person , not particularly on any side , just doing what she thinks the best to catch Kira . Near doesn’t really mind that much , since he never actually protest against working with Mello .

 

Mello , once again , fell straight into Near’s trap . _That bastard_ .

Near knew too well Mello wasn’t that good at controlling his temper and his impulsive tendency . He knew all too well .

So when Mello point a gun straight at Near’s head , he knew he had been fooled again . Hell , he had even gone as far as almost pulling the trigger at that bastard .

 “How the hell did I manage to forget that twit has a not-at-all-healthy obsession with death ?”

He wanted to say something , or better yet , do something . Like strangle the smaller boy . _How dare you_ abandon our game like that ? Don’t you freaking dare to use me to kill you ! I’m not going to lose to you because of my own actions , bastard !! _How dare you_ to even _think_ of something absurd like that , dying in front of me like that !

But he couldn’t say those words out loud , so instead , he settled for “Our goals is the same , I’ll be waiting for you at the finish line . “ A message .

 

Near didn’t want to die at that time , though he had to admit , he did provoke Mello into killing him . It would be fun , and there is a 27% of Mello killing him for real . Higher than he would like , but still worth the fun regardless . He was half taken back by the fact that Mello didn’t request a private meeting , but then maybe Mello is just waiting for the end of the case , when one of them snatches the victory to their hands .

Near would be waiting for Mello at their goal too .

 

The undeniable truth is that both of them are geniuses ; but not even geniuses can guess what life may bring  .

Near can expect pretty much everything in the world , including the fact that the 2nd L is actually Kira . Near anticipated everything , but never ,even in his wildest dream , did he expect Mello to be dead . At the back of his mind , he had always know , Mello had a relatively big chance of dying , since both his face and real name were known by the police , and of course , the second L . The logic side of him pointed to the fact that he had always known that Mello’s impulsive actions would be the death of him someday . Near knew so well , for even him had a good chance of dying whilst facing Kira , but he never expected Mello to just be dead .

Of course he would magically snap out of death somehow , a part of Near still want to believe . But Near knew better than that . All of the sudden , it didn’t make sense anymore . Nothing makes senses anymore . Near’s whole life is a game , his sole reason to stay alive is so that he gets to continue playing , continue winning . But , without his rival , who will be there to witness his victory ? Who will be there , with him ?

So , as he sat there , facing Kira, he felt the sudden urge to die . He had accomplished his mission as L’s successors , he had brought Kira to justice , with Mello’s help . They’ve surpassed L .

And there is nothing awaits for Near at the end . Not anymore.

He spotted Light trying to reach to his watch . “He must have hidden something there , he’s facing the other way so that I can’t see. The speech is for misdirection , too obvious . Has he become that desperate ? What is he hiding that he thinks can help him through this situation ? A piece from the Note ?”

But in the end, Near decided to let Light do whatever he wanted . Either way , there is no way he can kill off all the others currently presented in the warehouse without being notice . Not to mention , the size of the note couldn’t be that big , so Light is likely to kill only Near . Near is fine with that , honestly . He has already concluded the case , his death wouldn’t affect anything . Besides , being killed sounds better than having to escape Rester’s guardianship and commit suicide . In fact , dying the same way Mello did , in some twisted way , feels so oddly comfortable for him . Now that Mello died , there’s no one to play Life and Death with him , so what is really the point of moving on ?

Near would honestly be happy if he just dies there , another victim of the killer book .

So Near inwardly cringes as Matsuda shot Light and saved his life .

 _A gun saved his life_ . He felt  like being haunted .

\-----

A year later .

 _“What the HELL are you trying to do again  Near ?”_ Near hopes ghosts or spirits , whatever , don’t exist . Because he thinks he has started hearing things .  

_Isn’t it obvious ? – Near finds himself talking to Mello , to himself, to the forever silence following his footsteps , he couldn’t figure out which .

_“ I mean , why a day like this ? Hell , it’s a pain in the ass trying to walk on a freaking roof on a stormy day like this . What are you trying to do ? Fall to your death ?”_

_Glad you notice – He whispers

 _“Ha , then you won’t get it today . I will drag you if I have to , or you can willingly follow me .”_ That’s what Mello used to tell him . However , he can’t hear it now . Mello is not here . Mello won’t save him , not this time.

He smirks to himself “Mello , I will die right now , and there is nothing you can do about it”

_Though Near wishes that Mello could be there , that there is something that Mello can do about it_

Slowly , he steps onto the balcony .

One foot out .

 _This is nothing_ , Near thought to himself . _This is a person who has nothing , ultimately decides to return to nothingness ._

Eyes close.

_Meaningless , an utter waste of time ._

Inhale .

_See, no point in breathing . No point in maintaining a boring activity . No point in playing the game ._

_Not anymore._

Exhale .

_Let’s go ._

All of a sudden, as he was about to jump , a gust of wind blew harshly against him , knocking him to the ground . The data base inside Near’s head seemed to shut down temporarily, his logical reasonings all collapsed, and all that filled his head that moment was a way too familiar voice. A violent grunt brought along the stormy wind. _Excuses –_ Near thought to himself. No. It was from him. In this very head that was thought to abandon every extraneoous things and only keep ones that were essential, howled the voice of the past. It was still here. It refused to leave. It never left.

“Why?” Near found his voice filled with something alien. Pain? Helplessness? Neither one was approved to be shown,nor even felt by the usual Nate River, but his logical system was cracked at the moment, so he let it carry him away. “Why doesn’t it go away, like your image? I can hardly recall your features, or your appearance, or your warmth. They fade! Then why is this voice still lingering? When it whispers to me my chest hurts and I can’t think straight and it’s interupting my work and it hurts! I can finally get rid of it once i stop breathing, Mello, I can stop being painful. Then Mihael, just tell me, why are you doing this, again? Why can’t you just _let me go_?” _Why don’t you just let us go ?_

 _“_ _Because, damn Near. The game is not over yet.”_

Ah. It was raining . Near feels this urge to turn back , to see if anyone was there or is it just his head playing with him . Of course no one will be there , Near knew .

Maybe that’s why he ultimately decided not to turn back . 

“You are not here anymore.”

 _“_ _I am always there, stupid Near. I’m talking to you, see?”_

“Spirits are unproven my science.”

 _“_ _Damn it, I don’t need science to prove me!Hell , have science ever succeeded in proving me?_ _Can’t you see that you will be the one doing it? Because you’re here, the evidence that I once existed will live on.”_

“.... Excuses.” The rain was getting harder. “You just don’t want to lose to me.”

 _“_ _Eh, you knew?”_ The arrogant snort was more realistic than it should be. “ _Well, being the rival of the supreme Near, I should at least be able to continue our play even if I am_ _no longer there with you, right? What do you take this Mello for ?”_

“... I can jump off any second now.”

 _“_ _Then I will drag your ass no matter how many times it takes”_ _._ The voice was soft, how odd. “ _I’m not giving up on you. Then, now, ever. Even when you don’t have me there anymore.”_

Near’s lips curved.

“... It’s raining harder...”

 _“_ _Excuses.”_

The white haired boy’s cheeks soaked wet. He smiled.

“Yeah. As expected of you, see right through me.”

No logical explanation needed , Near still stands up and smiles .

_I too , don’t want to lose us ._

_All right  , make sure you’ll be around then . Or else who knows when will I decide to get bored and die again ? – Near smirks

_Sure , I’ll always be here then ._

Always.

**Author's Note:**

> I may or may not have sinned . Big time .  
> Anyway . Hope you guys enjoyed it !


End file.
